16 June 2009

A Return to the Fray

Perhaps by the urging of a one Hogs I'm going to attempt to post my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and other minor observations much more often.

Since the last time I graced this page, I have moved from my beloved Emerald City of Oz, San Francisco, to a slightly-less aesthetically-minded destination, Fort Lauderdale. I will attempt to keep my snobbish observations of the latter to myself. For now. In the interim, I have befriended a famous and prolific poet, maintained a friendship and professional relationship with a famous and prolific philosopher and novelist, made a cameo on a television production with a famous and prolific celebrity chef, annoyed the crap out of another famous and prolific celebrity chef, drove across the country all by myself, and have read a bunch.

I've decided to go back to school. So hopefully, this will be the place where I will hone my "personal statement" and entry papers on such things as the philosophy of sexuality and emotions, ruminations about obscure literature and film, and, probably the most important to me at the moment: the aesthetic of wine and food. I'm asking for your help here people, once I post stuff, tell me if I'm full of shit or not...mkay?

Maybe I'll pull out my camera again, but I haven't found much to capture recently. Everything is so shiny and new here. And covered with Ed Hardy. Bedazzled Ed Hardy.

Bacon help me...

Thus spake Megathustra

27 October 2008

Don't Worry, The Door Of Which I Speak Isn't The One To The World.

So the inevitable happened. I chose to stay at home and read and finish settling in today. I walked outside to check the mail. I heard my apartment door close behind me with a sickening "I-left-my-keys-inside" click. The roommate is at work. The land lady isn't at home. I had just locked the patio door, so even if I could scale one of the back fences from a neighbor's apartment, I couldn't get in. Shit.

Oh and I looked like this: see above bangs, green knit booties, sparkly pajama pants, and an old ill-fitting sweater. No id, no money, not even a credit card with which to pick the lock. Shit.

Last night, I just finished Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. Kavalier, among other things, is an escape artist who can get out of, or into, anywhere. It is election season, and many propositions on the ballot here in San Francisco. There are many fliers on card stock littering the front steps. Hmm, what would Joe Kavalier do? Yeah, I just broke into my apartment with a flier for some school board nominee from the Mission. I never thought politics would do me so well...

The sun just broke through my first fog-addled morning. I think it will be a good day.


Thus spake Megathustra

18 October 2008

Tom Waits Wrote the Soundtrack to My Life: A Compilation

Time again for another compilation! This time I have ventured deep into the vast dregs of my Tom Waits collection to put together a list of songs that have defined my life, then, now and later.

Here it goes:

What Keeps Mankind Alive (Bastards)
Tango Til They're Sore (Rain Dogs)
Make it Rain (Real Gone)
Cold Water (Mule Variations)
God's Away on Business (Blood Money)
Altar Boy (Bastards)
9th and Hennepin (Rain Dogs)
It's Over (Bawlers)
Dead and Lovely (Real Gone)
If I Have to Go (Bawlers)
Home I'll Never Be (Bastards)
Ol' 55 (Closing Time)
Walk Away (Brawlers)
Lucky Day (The Black Rider)
Anywhere I Lay My Head (Rain Dogs)
Children's Story (Bastards)

Thus spake Megathustra

28 September 2008

Moments with Buñuel

Somedays I really expect to turn around and see Luis Buñuel with a handheld camera in one hand, martini in the other saying: "You are on my candid camera, beetch."

Let me explain.

5 am Wake up, begin preparing, alone, for my yard sale later that day
7 am Buy coffee from You Say Tomato, begin bringing all of my Gently Used Crap downstairs. Back begins to hurt
8 am Nice gentleman from the first floor apartment, who is still up from his antics from the night before, brings the rest of my Gently Used Crap downstairs. I trade him his services for a coffee table. Two young women leave his apartment shortly thereafter. You go, guy.
9 am - 1 pm Sold a bunch of my Gently Used Crap to philosophers, Cubans, and bussers. During this time, I also saw three men cut down a tree in the least logical manner possible. Good times.
1.15 pm Start taking all of my Gently Used Crap upstairs. Doug the landlord helps. Nice man
1.30 pm Dana comes over to take me to the airport. I need to pack.
2.00 pm Grab an iced tea while dropping off my vacuum to Room 39. Joel hates me.
4.00 pm Leave, and as I am boarding my plane I realize I left my hoodie at home. Good thing I forgot my razor, too. At least my legs will be warm.
4-5 (denver time) Lay over in Denver for 25 minutes. I race down to Mesa Verde for a Blue Moon, an iced tea, some chips and salsa, and two cigarettes. And the Frontier boarding guy said it couldn't be done!
5.30-7.45 (CA time) Had the greatest conversation with Philomina and Keith in our first row seats. For the entire two hours!!! Great nice people originally from Minnesota, ya nooo? Ben from Oakland approves of my Chabon selection. Goodbye hugs from the flight attendants - see you at Charlies!
8.00-8.30 BART ride. Had a great existential movie moment with a stranger in the opposite train.
9.00 Find the Mosser just as my phone battery dies.
9.00-9.30 Shower away the airplane stink
9.30 Annabelle Bistro-the hotel's bar and restaurant. Befriend Rob, who pours a GREAT Syrah. (Seriously this wine is made by Silver Oak, and it is the perfect High School Reunion wine, you know, not as vindictive as an Italian, or as mutedly snobby as a French, or as robust and welcoming as a Spanish, but just a good nose-punching pepper for when you want to feel just the slightest bit of pretention).
10.00 meet Crystal and Steve. I now have a waiting job (they introduced me to their manager at the hotel across the street).
11.00 Bed time for Megan

Thus spake Megathustra

21 September 2008


When this person first emailed me in my response to a Room Wanted ad on Craigslist, she wrote in at least decent grammar. Even if this WASN'T a scam, I have major reservations about sharing my space with someone with minimal respect to basic grammar. If anyone can decipher the last sentence of this missive, I will give you a really big hug. (I'm moving to San Francisco, this is all I can afford).

Hello Roommate,

Enclosed in this mail, you will find the tenancy agreement duly
prepared by my Attorney with a copy of my international passport .I
want you to go through it carefully and then you'll get to study the
terms and condition of living in my spare flat. If everything is okay
for you, get back asap because we'll need to move on with the second
phase of the documentation and also how my attorney can confirm your

If you agree with the terms and condition you have to sign the
contract and send it back to me so that i can sign as well and for me
to have it in my record as regards you living in my spare flat ..I
have attached a copy of my international passport to you so that you
can know your fellow flatmate whenever you are coming to your

I really have lots of offer who are interested in my flat i but i turn
down their offer all because of you also which you are aware about it,
why am renting out the apartment is because the apartment is too big
for me not the money but i cant just allow the carzy bills to run like
that I will like you to proceed with me on the second phase so that my
Attorney can confirm your reservation and for the flat to be reserve
in your favor upon your arrival date. I really don't have much say
about the you making the reservation but i have entrust everything to
my Attorney and she made me to understand that she need to confirm,
your reservation for her to be positive sure about you so that the
flat can be reserve in your favor upon your arrival date .

Which mean i need to hear from you soon so that i can explain to my
Attorney also for her to give me a suitable response that will be in
your favor on how she will prefer you making the reservation.

I will like to come and pick you up my self at the airport if you
dont mind just send me your necessry flight arrangement detils so that
i can be there at the excat time and date..

Megan what will buy for me when you are coming to your apartment mean
as a gift ?

Here is my direct # 1-xxx-xxx-xxxx

Thank you and Remain Blessed..



Thus spake Megathustra

10 September 2008

Observing the Observer

After all of the trials and tribulations of The Great Existential Wild Western Roadshow...Now With Politics! 2008, after all of the countless (or, 3000) pictures taken, hours of video shot, in the midst of editing all of these things plus my moleskine-full of sentences into something one could consider to be a journalistic endeavor into the abyss of my still-adolescent mind; after years of philosophical inquiry, two days driving through a desert, 6 hours in Vegas, a week of the DNC, a week on various beaches, recreations of senior-style pictures...this is the shot I think encapsulates the entire trip.

Upon returning to the metropolis known to most as Kansas City, I realize that I really should be closer to an ocean, with my camera, Eugene (the skinny, white, hairless monster whom I love), coffee, and a well-painted green backdrop. Now if I only hadn't lost my hairdryer during those debaucherous 6 hours in Vegas, I could possibly lose the towel...but my new '47-style bangs require a bit more attention...

Please stay tuned for the more existential last legs of what will henceforth be known as The Greatest Vacation EVER 2008.

Thus spake Megathustra